Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Moron Envy


 

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.
---Mudhead


Passed by a couple of our local crack whores on my walk to the Arco gas station tonight: Cabbage Patch and Barrel Head. I told Cabbage Patch that if I didn't get a job soon, I'd be out here walking the street with her.

"Get your own corner, honey," Cabbage Patch told me.

Barrel Head wasn't as verbal. She never is. All I've heard her do is grunt. I wonder how she conveys her price to those SICK, NASTY MORONS who pick these girls up?

I noticed, though, that those SICK, NASTY MORONS who pick up these nasty, bacteria-laced, mayonnaise-faced crackhead strawberries in the middle of the night have nicer cars than I can borrow.

Omigod. I've got Moron Envy!

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