From deep, deep in the cotton-pickin' red clay'd piney woods o' east Texas, I bring you the tales of my sister Bethzilla, hideous freakin' white trash welfare-cheatin' pill-popping, bowl-smoking, vodka-swilling redneck swamp thing what done crawled up out of the danged boggy bottoms of Uncertain, Texas and also of Momma, a transplanted, dirt-floored, rice paddy, hand-raised Cajun girl from the south Texas depression era. Take a look see. Go ahead, lookee.
Sunday, February 05, 2012
I Ate Your Pork Fried Cat
Feral Felines Overrun The City!
by Jolie Blond
05/02/01
Over a million stray cats in L.A.,
said the director of an animal shelter today.
And this being mating season,
we're going to be up to our armpits in the little fuckers.
The story was announced
as "Feral Felines Overrun The City!!"
( The tv newscaster was borderline hysterical:
Omigod! Omigod! The cats are coming! [pun intended] )
At first I thought they were ragging on the hookers again.
They do that,
these paramours of broadcasting,
standing out on street corners
with a mike shoved in some poor girl's face
asking, "How does it feel to be a streetwalker?"
But no, it was just cats they were ranting about
this time,
stirring up the mass media litter box,
using hyperbole to freak out
the feeble minded
and jack up station ratings.
A million-plus wild cats roaming the city.
Wow. That's a lot of pussy.
Damn. A half million square feet of mobile fur.
Boggles my mind.
Wonder
how many railroad freight cars
that would fill?
And they say there's a food shortage in town.
Do you know how many homeless
that would feed?
Tags: viral video, funny video, funny videos, animal video, feral felines, stray cats, animal shelter, mating season, little fuckers, ragging on the hookers, paramours of broadcasting, street corners, streetwalker, sex worker, prostitute, mass media litter box, hyperbole, feeble minded, station ratings, pussy, freight cars, homeless, vlogging, vlogger, pets, cats, James Jarvis
Labels:
Jolie Blond
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