From deep, deep in the cotton-pickin' red clay'd piney woods o' east Texas, I bring you the tales of my sister Bethzilla, hideous freakin' white trash welfare-cheatin' pill-popping, bowl-smoking, vodka-swilling redneck swamp thing what done crawled up out of the danged boggy bottoms of Uncertain, Texas and also of Momma, a transplanted, dirt-floored, rice paddy, hand-raised Cajun girl from the south Texas depression era. Take a look see. Go ahead, lookee.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Trucking Through Matriculation
By Jolie Blond (aka Marquisdejolie)
(about the rigors of going to college in truck driver terminology)
The Dispatcher found me
an order of freight
at the Academic Warehouse of Dreams.
The traffic was murder,
the detours were long,
and I'd logged-in about seven years late.
I'd tailgated a hopped-up kicker from Arkansas
who had faith in his fuzzbuster schemes,
was makin' good time with the payload:
a cargo dropshipped
to the warehouse of dreams.
The rig he was in
wasn't hooked for delayed satisfaction,
so he deadheaded most of the way,
then his creditors took action
on his lack of acceptable traction
and repo-ed his tractor away.
Now I'm screamin' down hill
at an eight percent grade,
grinding a worn thirteenth gear.
No brakes,
can't stop.
Gotta graduate this place next year.
Tags: poem, poetry, poet, viral video, funny videos, trucking, matriculation, college, St Mary's University of San Antonio, east, texas, literature, deadheading, repo, thirteenth gear, James Jarvis
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Jolie Blond
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