Wednesday, March 16, 2011

No Man Is A Gas Island

Old gas pumps from Soviet Union.Image via Wikipedia

Seize the day.---Horace
Okay, now that I've got the fugger, whatcha want me to do with it? ---Mudhead

by James Jarvis
from My Arcology
Nov 23, 2001

     Seven hours humping beer and soda cases; scrubbing floors, sidewalks and gas pumps; counting cigarettes, filling propane tanks, selling gas, bagging groceries, fronting shelves, smiling at assholes, showing little old ladies how to pump gas, emptying trash, breaking down cardboard boxes, sweeping, filling bags with ice, running the boogeyman beggars off the gas islands and mopping, mopping, mopping.

      That's a lot of work on a Monday for $43.50 minus taxes. Better be losing weight.

      Got two box dinners today: one from Broke Fingers (aka the night man Day, a co-worker named Day who works the graveyard shift) and another one from a customer. I think they appreciate how I have run the most vicious of the panhandlers off the gas islands (where they scare the crap out of the customers using the old Intimidation-Bum-In-Your-Face scam) and they want to keep my strength up.

      The box lunches came right on time. I was starving and broke. Guess I needed these acts on kindness. Guess no man is a gas island.

     My crack motel ex-roommate Creepy ate at the Sizzler today. He made a special trip over to my workplace to let me know that he's eating OUT of the box. Creepy visits the Arco daily to check up on me and brag about some fine meal he’s had on a movie set where he was 'working' as an extra or at the El Camino Community College where he majors in Financial Aid.

      I need to fix up a special box for that asshole and there won't be sandwiches in it.

No Man Is An Island Part 2
Nov 25

    One of my email buddies wrote to me:

    “Look at the bright side...yes, it's only $45 bucks but you can swipe cigs, pump free gas, and get free gifts from customers once they acquired your friendship and trust. Plus Creepio is out of your hair. Personally, I think he occupies too much of your time and thought.”

    To which I felt compelled to reply:

    “I'll have you know that in the month I've been working in Arconia, I've only swiped $16 worth of cigarettes and three cans of Red Bull. There are video cameras covering the cash register / cigarette area and the owner, a Pepperdine University Arab, does monitor the tapes.

     As far as my roommate getting into my head,  it's hard not to notice a lip smacking, constantly whining, obsessive-compulsive, swisher-sweet fruit bowl roommate who won't shut up morning, noon and night.”

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