Sunday, March 13, 2011

Meeting A Lon Chaney Lookalike In The Miracle Mile's Ft. Crookside

Hollywood SignImage via Wikipedia

by James Jarvis

from Bring Me Your Love

  The apartment complex I lived was is a typical gated, security patrolled monstrosity nestled between crack neighborhoods to the south and west and Koreatown to the east. North of Ft. Crookside are the fancy cheese eaters of Park LaBrea and then the mean streets of Hollywood. On a clear day, I can almost see the Hollywood sign from my bedroom window. The heated swimming pool at Ft. Crookside Country Club Apartments is the center of social activity since the cheap landlord shut down the recreation room ten years ago.

     Due to the close proximity to Hollywood, there are a lot of entertainment industry types living at Ft. Crookside. Film editors, producers, screenwriters, agents, location scouts, personal assistants, property grips, pimps, drug dealers, strawberries, call girls, graphic artists, movie extras and all sorts movie industry types live at Crookside.

      Spontaneous poolside potluck barbeque parties used to just happen on hot July afternoons at Crookside before management shut them down with eviction threats a few years ago.

     It was at one of these tenant organized parties that I met the freewheeling ex-acid-head surfing golfer who sponsored me into the sex worker chauffeur business.

     There he was at the poolside barbeque, leaning over one of our hapless bikini-clad neighbors like Lon Chaney sneaking up on the sleeping maiden, barbeque sauce streaked from his chin to his belly button, spittle oozing from the left corner of his mouth. There was a strange mixture of hometown charm and feral lust oozing from his pores and he had the childlike grace of what the Dragon Lady would later call "an innocent soul".

     "This guy looks interesting," I thought, so I walked right up and introduced myself. It was the beginning of a long and arduous friendship, one which inducted me into the call girl delivery service and one which would be right there in the thick of it when things turned carnivorous between me and the Dragon Lady.

     His name is Lynnie and he stood alongside me at the Nikko summit conference, nervously supporting my stand against the 400-pound Samoan goon like Knucklehead Smith standing behind that other dummy, Jerry Mahoney. I'm proud to call him 'friend.'

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