From deep, deep in the cotton-pickin' red clay'd piney woods o' east Texas, I bring you the tales of my sister Bethzilla, hideous freakin' white trash welfare-cheatin' pill-popping, bowl-smoking, vodka-swilling redneck swamp thing what done crawled up out of the danged boggy bottoms of Uncertain, Texas and also of Momma, a transplanted, dirt-floored, rice paddy, hand-raised Cajun girl from the south Texas depression era. Take a look see. Go ahead, lookee.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Hunting The Yankee Waddler and Nibbles
by James Jarvis
03/21/01
Hysterics and fearmongering!
Hysterics and fearmongering!
The TV people
don't want you to own a gun,
because if you look too closely
at the fall lineup,
you might be tempted to drive over to the station
and shoot them.
I saw this on the news tonight:
According to some wizard of statistics,
the number one cause of infant death
(in Maine or Massachusettes
or some other yankee state)
is the murder of their mothers.
Someone is running around
shooting pregnant women
on a grand scale.
Funny that I'm just now hearing this shit.
Deer season,
duck season,
first, second and third trimester
mother season:
doesn't seem much sport
in shooting a slow-moving, big-breasted
yankee waddler.
This hysterical tidbit
on the tv news
was delivered with wide eyes and a solemn tone,
a 'something must be done about this! ' tone.
It seemed a thinly veiled
anti-gun propaganda thing to me,
but I could be wrong.
The overall feeling of the piece
was that if you owned a gun,
you were probably a baby killer.
Details at 11.
Tags: viral video, funny video, funny videos, animation, hunting, fishing, yankee, waddler, hysterics and fearmongering, TV people, fall lineup, gun control, wizard of statistics, infant death, shooting pregnant women, deliverance, anti-gun propaganda, baby killer, culture video, comedy, nibbles, Hinton, un voyage de peche, James Jarvis
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