by James Jarvis
05/09/01
Okay, let's review
what we've learned
about L.A. this month:
Travis Bickel
is alive and well
despite 10,000 pounds
of bad burritos
and a million feral cats
mating under his cab.
President Bush's ex-cat
was kidnapped
from its Brentwood apartment
and no ransom note was left.
Angelinos
will soon be drinking recycled sewage
in the dark
as the beer manufacturers
spend millions
on ad campaigns
pleading with the Mexicans
not to get drunk
on Cinco de Mayo.
Los Angeles Airport
will be burning food scraps
for fuel
and obesity
will be a capital offense
at Venice Beach.
Women
pay 10 cents less than men
for hair color
and Berretta
is the main suspect
in his wife's murder
when we all know
that O.J. did
this one, too.
Have I missed
anything?
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