(click pic) I have a very limited time down here in the homeless veterans' shelter computer room. We have 24 computers, most of them working, for use by 400 veterans. I have to pig-trough my way onto a machine and as often as not, there are snipers and infantrymen and grunts and Marines standing nearby, glaring at me, waiting for me to finish my email foolishness so they can log on and look up the dating services.
So I have to be quick here. Toothless Joe is breathing down my neck right now, informing me that the machine I'm using is one of the few that has games on it. In other words, 'Get off, I want to play.'
I just wanted to tell you that my homeless attorney, the one living in my old RV with the pit bull and German Shepherd, the inventor of the Steinberg Fatboy, the one whose own RV was impounded and auctioned off for salvage by the Hawthorne Police Department a few months back for unpaid parking tickets (and other crimes of homelessness), bought a $500 car this morning from the coinventor of the Steinberg Fatboy (his 400 pound bicycle), Chinese-German Jim.
Four hours later, Don has his first parking ticket on his new car: parking in the red zone. Don attracts those things like flies to a honeypot.
It's just a matter of time now before the cops close in and take Don's new car away from him. Don will try to get $500 worth of usage out of the thing before that happens, some of that time being spent looking for the next $500 car that will replace this one which replaced the Honda he lost a few months back which replaced the Toyota they impounded six months before that which replaced . . .
When I'm feeling better, I'd like to tell you about my homeless attorney's new invention that he's all excited about, the Steinberg Fatboy. The Steinberg Fatboy is a 400-pound bicycle Don plans to enter in the Tour de France.
I'll tell you one thing: I'm not gonna be the one pedaling it.
So I have to be quick here. Toothless Joe is breathing down my neck right now, informing me that the machine I'm using is one of the few that has games on it. In other words, 'Get off, I want to play.'
I just wanted to tell you that my homeless attorney, the one living in my old RV with the pit bull and German Shepherd, the inventor of the Steinberg Fatboy, the one whose own RV was impounded and auctioned off for salvage by the Hawthorne Police Department a few months back for unpaid parking tickets (and other crimes of homelessness), bought a $500 car this morning from the coinventor of the Steinberg Fatboy (his 400 pound bicycle), Chinese-German Jim.
Four hours later, Don has his first parking ticket on his new car: parking in the red zone. Don attracts those things like flies to a honeypot.
It's just a matter of time now before the cops close in and take Don's new car away from him. Don will try to get $500 worth of usage out of the thing before that happens, some of that time being spent looking for the next $500 car that will replace this one which replaced the Honda he lost a few months back which replaced the Toyota they impounded six months before that which replaced . . .
When I'm feeling better, I'd like to tell you about my homeless attorney's new invention that he's all excited about, the Steinberg Fatboy. The Steinberg Fatboy is a 400-pound bicycle Don plans to enter in the Tour de France.
I'll tell you one thing: I'm not gonna be the one pedaling it.
Tags: U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, U.S. Vets, L.A. Vets, Department of Veteran Affairs, homeless veterans, veterans shelter, pig-trough my way on to a machine, internet dating service, my homeless attorney, Steinberg, Fatboy, red zone, parking tickets, flies to a honeypot, impounded vehicle, Hawthorn Police Department, Tour De France, jarvis, Revver, marquisdejolie
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