I have graduated Westside's 'Bootcamp For Bums'. I am no longer downstairs in the V.I.P (Veterans In Progress) program, but upstairs in the 'General Population'. Funny how they use prison jargon to describe inmate status here at this homeless veterans shelter warehouse.
Pictured above is my lovely new two-man room as it was presented to me. I didn't capture the mold in the corners or the exposed pipes or the years worth of undisturbed dust and dirt on top of the makeshift closet or the nasty-assed rank and rotten potpouri of disturbing smells coming FROM the closet, but you get the idea.
It DID come with a bunk bed, but I hadn't assembled it yet at the time of this picture. I asked the Assistant Property Manager if the one electrical socket worked and he just laughed at me. It's a 10 by 15 foot room, but by God half of it is all mine and I got the good half, the half away from the door (the door swings inward, voiding precious floorspace for the guy who lives in that half).
All this for only a 75 percent increase in rent! Downstairs in the V.I.P. 10x15-foot three-man room, I was paying $200 a month rent. Up here in my 'new' two-man 10x15-foot room, I only have to pay $350!
I'm in heaven. Do you realize how much space a homeless U.S. military veteran takes up in a three-man 10x15 foot room? A lot. Way too much armpit and asshole smell for one small room. Way too much. Now it will be just me and one other asshole in the little room.
I repeat. I'm in heaven.
Pictured above is my lovely new two-man room as it was presented to me. I didn't capture the mold in the corners or the exposed pipes or the years worth of undisturbed dust and dirt on top of the makeshift closet or the nasty-assed rank and rotten potpouri of disturbing smells coming FROM the closet, but you get the idea.
It DID come with a bunk bed, but I hadn't assembled it yet at the time of this picture. I asked the Assistant Property Manager if the one electrical socket worked and he just laughed at me. It's a 10 by 15 foot room, but by God half of it is all mine and I got the good half, the half away from the door (the door swings inward, voiding precious floorspace for the guy who lives in that half).
All this for only a 75 percent increase in rent! Downstairs in the V.I.P. 10x15-foot three-man room, I was paying $200 a month rent. Up here in my 'new' two-man 10x15-foot room, I only have to pay $350!
I'm in heaven. Do you realize how much space a homeless U.S. military veteran takes up in a three-man 10x15 foot room? A lot. Way too much armpit and asshole smell for one small room. Way too much. Now it will be just me and one other asshole in the little room.
I repeat. I'm in heaven.
Tags: V.I.P., Veterans In Progress, general population, bootcamp, bum, beggar, vagabond, vagrant, tramp, hobo, transient, indigent, two-man room, three-man room, Department of Veteran Affairs, slumlord, property manager, bunk bed, homeless veteran, veteran shelter, U.S. military veteran, armpits and assholes, jarvis, marquisdejolie, heaven
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