Friday, March 04, 2011

Creepy's Big Break: The Volcanic Crotch Shot

by James Jarvis
from Life With Creepy

    My roommate was working as a movie extra on the set of "Volcano". It was harrowing work, my roommate told me, because they just dumped tons of campfire ash on all the extras, day after day. All that ash made it hard for my roommate to breathe and exhausted him, so one day on the set, he decided to lie down for a while waiting for the next take. He laid down on something soft and nodded off for a bit.

    Unknown to my roommate at the time, a photographer for the studio was taking promotional shots on the set. He saw my roommate with his head between the legs of one of the many movie dummies the production company had lying about to simulate dead people and took the picture just as my roommate looked up from his 'pillow'. The photographer got a great shot of what looked like my roommate giving head to the dummy, but Creepy didn't realize the shot was taken at the time.

    A few days later, copies of the photograph were being circulated around the set. My roommate saw it and, not realizing the implications, went and asked the photographer what the picture was going to be used for. Creepy had in his mind that this might be the break he had been waiting for. If the big cheeses at the production company saw it, they might use him for a bigger part in their next movie, he reasoned.

    The photographer assured him that the producers of the movie would see this photograph and that one of the production assistants liked the picture so much that he was going to post it on the Internet, if Creepy would just sign this little release waiver. Creepy couldn't wait to sign it. His big break had finally come.

    It wasn't until after the photographer had gone that one of the other extras explained the implications of the photograph to my roommate.

    "Those bastards!" my roommate told me in summing up this story.

    Okay, maybe it was funnier last night in the shade of the other news that the KGB was trying to recruit him on campus and that his underwear was infested.

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