Friday, March 04, 2011

Creepy Recruited On Campus For The KGB



by James Jarvis
from Life With Creepy
2002

  My roommate just this minute brought more humor and intrigue into my life. He tapped me on the shoulder so I'd immediately stop my email typing and told me most emphatically that he's going to the campus police tomorrow to report a strange conversation he had with an 80 year old man at school today.

    This is so ironic. I report strange conversations I have WITH HIM on a regular basis. Only not to the campus police, but to YOU.

    My roommate honestly thinks the 80 year-old was "feeling me up to recruit me for the KGB".

    "What'd he SAY to you," I asked in mock shock, eyes wide in anticipation.

    "He asked me if I spoke French!"

    "And?"

    "And what?"

    "Uh . . .did you leave something out of this story?"

    "No."

    "Are you SURE?"

    "I'm SURE. I'm going to the cops. They appreciate tips like this."

    "Uh, Jimbo . . .uh, I'd get like a little more to go on that what you've got here before I went to the cops. They might think you were a crackpot or something."

    "Oh, no, you don't know how law enforcement works, do you James? Weren't you in the military? I'm surprised you don't know. They appreciate tips like this. If you don't have a student ID card, they escort you right off the campus! I know. They tried it on me."

    "You're right, Jimbo. Go get him! The Commie bastard!"

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