From deep, deep in the cotton-pickin' red clay'd piney woods o' east Texas, I bring you the tales of my sister Bethzilla, hideous freakin' white trash welfare-cheatin' pill-popping, bowl-smoking, vodka-swilling redneck swamp thing what done crawled up out of the danged boggy bottoms of Uncertain, Texas and also of Momma, a transplanted, dirt-floored, rice paddy, hand-raised Cajun girl from the south Texas depression era. Take a look see. Go ahead, lookee.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Kidnappers Return Momma To The House of Daily Horrors
Momma disappeared one day last week and nobody knew where she had gone. Friends and family were worried. She had just vanished. Maybe it was an alien abduction. UFOs have been seen in the neighborhood. But momma's "kidnappers" returned her to the House of Daily Horrors today, no ransome wanted. Momma came running out to my truck to tell the tale when I pulled into the driveway.
Tags: old lady kidnapped, senior citizen kidnappers, abducting old people, abducted, momma kidnapped, strange woods, country kooks, rednecks, unenlightened hicks, drama queen, east texas, Marshall Texas, piney woods, marquisdejolie, redneck series
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