by James Jarvis
from My Arcology (tales of working in a South Central Arco)
A guy comes in and buys two cans of 24 ounce beer. Usually when someone buys two individual cans instead of a six pack, he's buying one for himself and one for a buddy or a girlfriend out in the car and asks for separate bags so that each person can hold their own beer without getting their hands cold or wet.
So I asked this guy if he wanted two individual bags or large one. He goes off on me, telling me, "Look, buddy (emphasis on the word 'buddy' in a very unfriendly tone), ALL brothers don't start drinking their beer as soon as they get out of the store. Do you understand that, buddy!?"
At first I didn't understand what he was getting at. Then I got it. He was accusing me of racism, of stereotyping his brothers and sisters as being one bag alcoholics or something. It seemed silly to me, but his face was serious business, so I just told him, "Hey, I was just asking how you wanted it bagged. I REALLY don't give a shit what you do with it."
This guy walked in thinking I was a racist because of the color of my skin and he walked out having proven his thesis correct to himself. Another satisfied customer.
Tags: buddy, self-fulfilling prophecy, agenda, racial intimidation, reverse racism, first gear racism, second gear racism, paper bag discrimination, 24-ounce profiling, attitude adjustment hour, boozery, cop's bottle, crazy water, Dutch suds, cut the wolf loose, bag o hooch, blame squirrel, playing old tapes, foreshots, Balm of Gilead, St. Augustine, Arco, gas station, faith
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