Sunday, January 16, 2011

Recruiting Mercenaries From Fat Ex-Crackheads In Homeless Shelters

We must be losing the Iraq war. I just saw mercenary job listings
on the U.S. Vets Job Development Board downstairs yesterday. They're scraping the bottom of the barrel here. On the other hand, it WOULD be a tidy way of decreasing the surplus population of ex-felon, fatherfucking homeless military veteran crackheads here.

(Heee heee heee) No wait. (Heee heee hee) Mercenaries from my
homeless veterans's (hee hee) dorm. AWWWWwwwww haaawwww hawww. No, wait. I'll compose myself.

One of the first things you notice around here is how much weight
everybody puts on. The crackheads (heeeeeeee heee heee), uh, the crackheads stop smoking crack and start (heeeee heee hee) eating regular.

We've got a bunch of waddlers here, folks. They have to take the
elevator to the second floor (haaaawww haaaw haaaw) and even then they come out of the elevator sweating.

Heee hee heee. Mercenaries from U.S. Vets. Send their fat asses to
Iraq. Yeah (hee hee). That'll scare those damned terrorists . . . seeing a bunch of fat old middleaged men waddling towards them. HAAAAA HAAAA HAAAA HAAA. They won't know whether we're there to shoot them or eat them.

AAAAAAHHHH HAA HAA HAA. Where do I sign up?

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