Sunday, March 29, 2009

Notes On Guarding A Couch













(The couch I guarded for Sucko Security)



Living in a veterans' retirement home for brain dead, caucassian-hating, drug-addled negroes (white, black, brown and yellow; we are ALL negroes here) who are angry that their eighth grade educations don't qualify them for upper management salaries (not that we want anything at all, oh Lord no, to do with upper management responsibilities) . . .

. . . riding a 49 cc (leaf blower with wheels) Chinese scooter through the fast food franchise-ravaged ghetto of Inglewood to a Sucko Security couch-guarding job in cheesy, brie-sie Culver City feels less than noble today.

God help me, I think I belong here in this homeless veterans shelter, but I'd rather be in Colorado. The irony of living in a homeless shelter in the ghetto while working at a luxury apartment complex in upscale Culver City hasn't escaped me.

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