Saturday, January 10, 2009

Marshall Police Arrest A Dildo Dealer


(click pic)

MARSHALL POLICE DEPARTMENT DILDOPHOBIC:
WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED?


I periodically check the police blotter sections of The Marshall News Messenger (in my hometown of Marshall, Texas) and The San Antonio Light (hometown of my university) to see what crimes my high school and college cohorts are committing.

My college peers mostly commit suicide and suicidal acts (suicidal acts like becoming mid-level HMO insurance company managers--brrrr! I wonder what kind of special ring of hell is being reserved for them!?).

The best high school police blotter item was when one of my high school peers was arrested for transporting sex toys across the county line (it's illegal to transport dildos in and out of Marshall, a law I think the limp dick males of Marshall passed in self defense).

You think I'm joking or exaggerating about the Barney Fifeness of the Marshall police department, but they're the guys who recently stopped me from mowing my own mother's lawn (lawnmowing in progress, city statute unknown) remember!?

Apparently, I am not the only person who monitors the crimes of my ex schoolmates:


http://www.bigmixup.com/writing/leader/

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,


Digg!
Share |