(click pic for Revver flick)
Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of our venture. ---William James
I was standing in the middle of my Casa De Toro guard "shack", looking out through the floor-to-ceiling picture windows at the quiescent pool and jacuzzi, 4 a.m., trying to decide whether to quit the cheap security guard company who had posted me here five months ago or to stay a while longer.
The dumpsters here at Casa De Toro HAVE been good to me. If I leave Sucko Security, I leave the dumpsters. The dumpsters have been trying to get me to stay. In fact, ever since I started thinking about quiting Sucko, the dumpsters have been working overtime to get me to stay, plying me with all sorts of gifts, bribes and shiny little used inducements.
I decided, standing there in the middle of my guard shack Friday night, that the bounty of the dumpsters was the work of the devil. The devil likes to ply people with shiny, worthless things. I have no more room for shiny, worthless thing, so I'm going to quit Sucko's $8.25 an hour job and apply for Allied Security's $10 an hour or Securitas' $9.50 an hour.
Just as I made that decision, I got a spontaneous erection.
"Whoa!" I said, looking down at the rising tent, "Where did YOU come from?" It didn't answer, just kept rising.
Talking to my penis, I felt like Farmer John when Lassie comes running up to the barn barking about some trouble Little Timmy has gotten himself into:
"What's wrong boy? Where's the fire?"
I stepped out of the guard shack, tent and all, using my erection as a sort of divining rod to see where the trouble was, and immediately heard whimpering. Female whimpering. It was coming from the outside of the main entrance gate.
END PART ONE
Tags: precognizant, ESP, extra sensory perception, penis, Casa de Villa, Casa de Toro, guardshack, security guard, birthday paradox, fishbone, Lassie, factotum, viral video, revver, jarvis, marquisdejolie, wikipedia, Hollywood, Culver City
Our belief at the beginning of a doubtful undertaking is the one thing that ensures the successful outcome of our venture. ---William James
I was standing in the middle of my Casa De Toro guard "shack", looking out through the floor-to-ceiling picture windows at the quiescent pool and jacuzzi, 4 a.m., trying to decide whether to quit the cheap security guard company who had posted me here five months ago or to stay a while longer.
The dumpsters here at Casa De Toro HAVE been good to me. If I leave Sucko Security, I leave the dumpsters. The dumpsters have been trying to get me to stay. In fact, ever since I started thinking about quiting Sucko, the dumpsters have been working overtime to get me to stay, plying me with all sorts of gifts, bribes and shiny little used inducements.
I decided, standing there in the middle of my guard shack Friday night, that the bounty of the dumpsters was the work of the devil. The devil likes to ply people with shiny, worthless things. I have no more room for shiny, worthless thing, so I'm going to quit Sucko's $8.25 an hour job and apply for Allied Security's $10 an hour or Securitas' $9.50 an hour.
Just as I made that decision, I got a spontaneous erection.
"Whoa!" I said, looking down at the rising tent, "Where did YOU come from?" It didn't answer, just kept rising.
Talking to my penis, I felt like Farmer John when Lassie comes running up to the barn barking about some trouble Little Timmy has gotten himself into:
"What's wrong boy? Where's the fire?"
I stepped out of the guard shack, tent and all, using my erection as a sort of divining rod to see where the trouble was, and immediately heard whimpering. Female whimpering. It was coming from the outside of the main entrance gate.
END PART ONE
Tags: precognizant, ESP, extra sensory perception, penis, Casa de Villa, Casa de Toro, guardshack, security guard, birthday paradox, fishbone, Lassie, factotum, viral video, revver, jarvis, marquisdejolie, wikipedia, Hollywood, Culver City
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ReplyDeleteApparently, y'all are a little shaky on the meaning of "precognizant."
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