I started having My-Big-Fat-Greek-Wedding romantic fantasies about this cute little blond as I was shaking her, getting flashcard pictures of her cooking dinner for me while I typed stories on my laptop, pictures of her and I sitting out on the porch swing on balmy nights looking at the stars and not having to say anything to communicate, pictures of us spooning and unloading groceries out of the back of the pickup truck and . . .
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
I chuckled. This is, sort of, the way I met my second wife, my true wife, roles reversed. My second wife first lay eyes on me when I was recovering, in public, from some all night binge and debauchery. What a coincedence. Was this a sign? Is this the best way to meet a prospective spouse? Tables turned, it had worked for me before.
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
I chuckled, thinking, only a desperately lonely schmuck, only a man, would be having fantasies about a passed out stranger with puke running down her blouse.
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
Suddenly, the woman's eyes popped open and she fell forward. Still in mid chuckle, I reflexively caught the woman's forward movement with my left hand, palm up. Her first impression of her surroundings, and of me, were not so good. I was chuckling, my left palm on her breast.
She screamed and hit me.
END PART 5 OF 8
Tags: Dumpster Gods, dumpsterdiving, dumpsterware, dumpsters, dumpster treasure, Angel Infante, security guard, Sucko Security, Casa De Toro, alley cat, crazy, factotum, viral video, revver, jarvis, marquisdejolie, Los Angels, Westwood, Culver City, UCLA, counterintuitive, party girl, college drunk, Pedro Montoya, Kerry Keating, Ping, Angel Baby, The Succubus
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
I chuckled, thinking, only a desperately lonely schmuck, only a man, would be having fantasies about a passed out stranger with puke running down her blouse.
"Ma'am, are you all right?"
Suddenly, the woman's eyes popped open and she fell forward. Still in mid chuckle, I reflexively caught the woman's forward movement with my left hand, palm up. Her first impression of her surroundings, and of me, were not so good. I was chuckling, my left palm on her breast.
She screamed and hit me.
END PART 5 OF 8
Tags: Dumpster Gods, dumpsterdiving, dumpsterware, dumpsters, dumpster treasure, Angel Infante, security guard, Sucko Security, Casa De Toro, alley cat, crazy, factotum, viral video, revver, jarvis, marquisdejolie, Los Angels, Westwood, Culver City, UCLA, counterintuitive, party girl, college drunk, Pedro Montoya, Kerry Keating, Ping, Angel Baby, The Succubus
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