The Case of the Anemic, One-Egged, Ten Dollar Omlet
I recently moved from Los Angeles, California to Marshall, Texas. I am nocturnal. Marshall isn't. I really miss Los Angeles' fine dining at 3 a.m. Marshallites pretty much quit eating before the ten o'clock news comes on.
Every time I go to check some place out in this town, they're closed. That includes odd times of the day and early morning. I guess me and Marshall are incompatible, out of sync, ill-fated.
I'm nocturnal. Is there anywhere decent to eat at 3 a.m. in Marshall? I miss Greek food.
I tried the Waffle House on Highway 59 one morning. Got the $7 breakfast special and a side order of one single, plain omelet. They tried to charge me $17 for the meal. Even acted petulant when I raised a fuss about the anemic, undercooked, plain $10.00 omelet. Said they "might" have made an adding error.
"Might" my fat Cajun ass. They thought I was a tourist passing through on my way to the (Shreveport gambling) boats and tried to gouge me, I'll betcha, I'll bet. Didn't recognize my face from when I used to be a track star here thirty three years ago and charged me the "Stranger Tax".
Now, I've HAD a ten dollar cup of coffee (at the Beverly Hills Hotel Polo Lounge) and a ten dollar omelet (at Jerry's Deli in Marina del Rey), but this was no REAL ten dollar omelet that The Waffle House was trying to palm off on me, let me tell you, boy howdy! This was an anemic little popcorn fart of an omelet . . . an anemic, pathetic one egger!
"Foul play, I say! Fowl play!"
This is not the first or last time Marshallites have charged me the "Stranger Tax." Marshallites treat 'outsiders' like dirtbags. Even native sons who went off into the military to protect them from the godless commies they seem to see under every redberry bush.
The Marshall city council is spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on consultants and programs to attract tourists to the area (as if there was something to see). Well, City Council, let me consult with you on this one point. Free. No charge. Here's my tip: Stop acting like dirtbags and treating strangers like fresh meat at a vulture convention.
And learn how to cook omletes.
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