OFFLINE JOURNAL
Motel Marquis
Dept. of Milk Crates
The storage place where I packratted my previous life sent me another rent increase letter. It was the second increase in 4 months. So I took my 14 milk crates full of school annuals, military photo albulms, corporate records and baby pictures out and stacked them up in my crack motel.
Milk crates are the best. One minute they're shelves, the next minute they can be luggage. Or chairs. Or tables.
I am a little uneasy that I am now less mobile than I was a few months ago. A few months ago I could change residences in ten minutes. Twenty if I moved to another city. Lock, stock and barrel. Now with my milk crates 'o plenty, it would take me two hours to move to another city. Packing and drive time included.
Tonight, I hired one of the streetwalkers who does business in front of my motel to hunt more milk crates for me. I offered her two bucks a crate after pricing inferior crates in the local discount stores at $6.99 apiece.
She's already made $4 off me. I like to do business with local merchants when I can. You know, keep the money in the neighborhood.
Tags: offline journal, homeless, crack motel, pack rat, storage facility, rent increase, funny video, spoof, milk crates, mobility, streetwalker, local merchants, crack neighborhood, viral video, vlog, jarvis, vlogging, marquisdejolie, homelessness, factotum, Hollywood, weird video, tales of the street
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