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Friday, January 12, 2007

Spiders On Drugs / Holes In My Bucket


To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. ---Mark Twain

I used to make (and spend) a lot of money. I was in the soup. A player.

I had a shoebox full
of tightly banded rolls of twenties and fifties, never carried less than a thousand dollars cash, drove three cars (and rented more cars every other week just for the novelty), sent money to my mother every month, meticulously tithed 10 percent off the gross to my favorite church, ate expensively, drank $10 a cup coffee in The Polo Lounge, loaned money to my neighbors generously, did drugs, chased women, paid for sex with Heidi's girls yada yada yada ........ until I couldn't stand it any more, got anxiety attacks, quit, holed up in my apartment for a year (not working at all) drying out and writing "Bring Me Your Love".

I believed that God would always insist on me having many holes in my financial bucket until I turned around and did the right thing. So I turned around. Got a square job. Dropped into a veteran's sober living facility. Got more square jobs. Started helping the homeless. Helped little old ladies across the street. You know the drill.

I have a much smaller bucket now, but a lot fewer holes.

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4 comments:

  1. Hilarious video. Interesting story. Sounds like you kinda went from one extreme to the other, doin' some sort of penance, but whatever works for you is cool with me.

    I used to make about 18 or 19 grand a year, teaching a few history classes a semester part time, waiting for a full time gig to open up. Someone told me I had a better chance at it if I were qualified to teach more subjects, so i went back to school and qualified to teach government. At about the same time I started teaching online courses, and between all those new classes my income went up about 10 grand every year, till it maxed out at about 72. I bought some land and a house, and then the fuckers on the main campus found out about it all, how me and a few others were teaching way many more courses than we were supposed to be allowed to, and they cut us back. Income went down 20 grand a year, and now I'm workin' my way back up.

    It IS a ridiculous rat race. A big part of me wishes I'd just put up a little unabomber shack on the land and lived simpler and cheaper, but I love havin' the land AND the house, and the garage to put my car in, and central air, and DSL for this bitch, and cable TV. Quality of life is something everyone has to defign for themselves, I guess.

    Plan is to move onto the land in about 20 years, build a nice little place that's mostly off the grid, and ratchet down the number of classes I'm teachin' to something approaching retirement. We'll see. Might just gather my gear and walk into the woods and never look back. See what happens.

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  2. Seems like there's always some "main campus" fucker somewhere trying limit our progress, or at least make sure we don't get ahead of them.

    I saw a news item a while back about a guy who got off the grid with his own hydrogen plant in his back yard. Even his car was hydrogen powered. It looked heavenly.

    This post seems to have touched some rat race buttons. An artist friend of mine in Longbeach wrote about this post:

    "I understand, I could get a job that would pay lots of money, but I really enjoy to concept of working for someone I really love, traveling, actually showing art at exhibits, finally learining to play the guitar, time to write a so far finished but not pollished novel. That other life seems like it costs way too much."

    It does. I look back fondly on my time completely off the grid.

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  3. One of my colleagues is building a still in his back yard to make his own ethanol fuel. I told him I'd visit him when he went to the slammer.

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  4. I'm trying to figure out how to run fry grease through my deisel pickup.

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