Not finding my homeless attorney at the park, I drove Gordon back to the Steak and Eggs place across the street from the old Arco I used to work for, which is across the street on the left from the Vietnamese dentist's office where my attorney's camper was parked.
Gordon and I sat down for some scrambled eggs. People kept walking by our table recognizing me from when I was the unofficial sheriff of El Camino Village, bumfighter and Arco clerk and saying hey, how're ya doin?
Then Big John, a homeless truck driver who used to sleep behind the Arco wall and do occassional work on my El Dorado recreational vehicle, came in the diner. When he saw me, a big grin spred across his face and he came tromping up to our table.
"James you old country dog! You kidnap anyone lately buddy!?" he roared so that everyone in the diner heard.
"No, John," I said in a low voice, "Nobody since the Korean girl."
Gordon looked at me quizically. I felt the need to explain.
"I broke a pregnant girl out of a nunnery once. Grace. Nice girl, I guess. She used to stay with me in my RV. Big John here always thought that was a hoot. Especially when the nun squad came and kidnapped her back."
"Nun squad?" Gordon asked.
"Yeah. Wierdest thing I ever saw. Nun commandos cruising around in a little Toyota Tercel. Came and scooped her off the street one night at midnight, right over there by that bus stop," I pointed to the bus stop in front of the diner.
"I never shoulda broke her out of that nunnery in the first place. My mistake. Those nuns put up a pretty good fight for her, too. Tough nuns, but I'm an old army guy. I can still take a buncha nuns. It's better they took her back, though. Better for her. Cute Korean girl about 20, named Grace. I kinda miss her."
"So you give up kidnappin', eh?" Big John laughed.
"Yeah. How're you doin', buddy?" I asked John.
"Right as rain, buddy," he said, "See that big blonde getting outta that Caddie over there?" John pointed to a blonde woman in the diner parking lot whose demeanor and bleach-blond hairdo reminded me somehow of a woman who had spent the last 30 years of her life waitressing at a truck stop.
"That's mine!" John said and for a moment I wondered whether he was talking about the woman or the car or both. Turns out he was talking about both. The woman needed a man and Big John, living behind a gas station retaining wall, was available, so Big John got himself the use of her car and her home in exchange for his availability. Big John, a kept man. I never woulda believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes.
Looking past the blond in the white Cadillac, I saw my homeless attorney arriving back at his RV across the street.
"There he is!" I said to Gordon, "There's the fella I wanted you to meet!"
END PART FIVE
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