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Monday, October 30, 2006

The Daily Literacy Test



This homeless veterans' dorm I'm living in is a private corporation called L.A. Vets, a subsidiary of U.S. Vets, Inc. I applied today for the position of Director of Housing, U.S. Vets Hawaii Division. Wish me luck.

I also applied for Chaplain of L.A. Vets. It only pays 90 grand, but think of the good I can do here counseling my fellow vets on matters of spirituality.


My buddy Gordon The Hollywood Anarchist lead an insurrection this morning in the morning meeting that they force unemployed residents to attend (see "Yoke of the Oppressor").

Fraulein Jackson, a case manager with heavy dominatrix tendencies, made the mistake this morning at the Morning Browbeating Session of asking the group how this program (Veterans In Progress) could be improved.


Oh hell. That was too much of an opening for Gordon.

Every morning, VIP attendees are to read out loud the five new job contacts they dredged up from the internet or the L.A. Times the night before while the counsellor sits there fighting off sleep. L.A. vets calls this reading process "job networking." The veterans call it 'The Fives' or 'Reading Our Daily Lies.'

"This is not job networking," Gordon said this morning, "This is merely a daily literacy test." The room erupted into agreement with him and that brown shirt Jackson almost lost control of her "class."


Aaaaaaaaahhhh haaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaa! Wish I coulda been there! I always thought that what the morning "Yoke of the Oppressors" meetings needed was a palace coup.

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