(click pic for Revver flick)
Spoken word I composed in Garageband about our over-caffeinated lives.
Related website: http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/
Spoken word I composed in Garageband about our over-caffeinated lives.
Related website: http://www.energyfiend.com/death-by-caffeine/
By James Jarvis (aka Jolie Blond aka Marquisdejolie)
It was the second cup of coffee got me, kicked my nervous system in the butt, shoveled coal into my furnace. Blood pressure up. Eyeballs vibrating. The caffeine screamed at me like Klaus Kinski on a rampage: Mein Gott! GET UP! Getchur clothes on! Achtung! Raush, raush, raush! MEIN GOTT! VE HAF NO TIME FOR ZEE LOAFING AROUND! AAIIIEEEEEEEEEE! VE HAF LOST HAF A DAY ALREADY!
Lite a cigarette. Have a sip of coffee! Cigarette burning in the ashtray. One burning in my mouth. Clothes on. Shoes on. Another slurp of coffee. Twirling around my room looking for something to do. Ran downstairs. Checked my mailbox. Made an appointment to do someone's taxes. Ran upstairs. Room still the same. No changes since I left.
Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. Friday afternoon. Where's the old man? He should've been here by now. Ran downstairs. Checked the parking lot. Checked the other side. Ran upstairs. Lit a cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. Eyeballs vibrating. Cop cars outside my window. Two of them. What they want? They here for me? No. Haven't committed any crimes. None they'd know about.
Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Full steam ahead. Blood pressure up. Eyeballs vibrating. Shoes tied. Let's go, let's go, let's GO! Go where? Do what? Friday afternoon. Cops left. Old man not here. Rain coming down now. So what? Went outside. Checked the street from my fourth floor balcony. No familiar faces. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!
Back inside. Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Lost a couple a weeks to flu and strep throat. Lying around in bed whining. Why'd I do that? Waste of time. Gotta get going. Gotta get it on, GET IT ON! AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Gonna be fifty soon. Can't piddle. NO PIDDLING AT FIFTY! Can't afford the time. Give me something to do! Give me something to do!
AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Give me something to do! Slay a dragon. Pull on Superman's cape. Mess around with a guy named Slim. Check my pockets. Nuthin up my sleeve. Watch this, Rocky. Pull a rabbit out my hat. Whoa! That's the coffee talking. I don't wanna do anything. It's Friday afternoon. I'm done.
Tags: Revver, animation, caffeinated, caffeine, funny, humor, james jarvis, marquisdejolie, reading, speed, spokenword, viralTags:
It was the second cup of coffee got me, kicked my nervous system in the butt, shoveled coal into my furnace. Blood pressure up. Eyeballs vibrating. The caffeine screamed at me like Klaus Kinski on a rampage: Mein Gott! GET UP! Getchur clothes on! Achtung! Raush, raush, raush! MEIN GOTT! VE HAF NO TIME FOR ZEE LOAFING AROUND! AAIIIEEEEEEEEEE! VE HAF LOST HAF A DAY ALREADY!
Lite a cigarette. Have a sip of coffee! Cigarette burning in the ashtray. One burning in my mouth. Clothes on. Shoes on. Another slurp of coffee. Twirling around my room looking for something to do. Ran downstairs. Checked my mailbox. Made an appointment to do someone's taxes. Ran upstairs. Room still the same. No changes since I left.
Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. Friday afternoon. Where's the old man? He should've been here by now. Ran downstairs. Checked the parking lot. Checked the other side. Ran upstairs. Lit a cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. Eyeballs vibrating. Cop cars outside my window. Two of them. What they want? They here for me? No. Haven't committed any crimes. None they'd know about.
Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Full steam ahead. Blood pressure up. Eyeballs vibrating. Shoes tied. Let's go, let's go, let's GO! Go where? Do what? Friday afternoon. Cops left. Old man not here. Rain coming down now. So what? Went outside. Checked the street from my fourth floor balcony. No familiar faces. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!!
Back inside. Lit another cigarette. Another slurp of coffee. AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Lost a couple a weeks to flu and strep throat. Lying around in bed whining. Why'd I do that? Waste of time. Gotta get going. Gotta get it on, GET IT ON! AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Gonna be fifty soon. Can't piddle. NO PIDDLING AT FIFTY! Can't afford the time. Give me something to do! Give me something to do!
AAAAIIIIIEEEEEE!!! Give me something to do! Slay a dragon. Pull on Superman's cape. Mess around with a guy named Slim. Check my pockets. Nuthin up my sleeve. Watch this, Rocky. Pull a rabbit out my hat. Whoa! That's the coffee talking. I don't wanna do anything. It's Friday afternoon. I'm done.
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