Buck Bummer

(click for Revver video)

by Jolie Blond
11/13/04

A shady character
comes out of the shadows
and asks

"Can I bum a buck, buddy?
I need some ammunition,
gotta get some ballast,
a buck
or whatever bangers
you got in your pocket.

I need some bank,
some beans,
some berries.
I ain't asking for no long green, man,
just a biscuit,
one blunt from your boodle,
brass for my ass, man,
some bread,
some bullets.

C'mon, man, I know you got the dough,
you can spare some cabbage,
just a little casho dinero,
change, man, cherries, chicken feed.
You can spare the coin.
You're in the chips.
I need the corn,
put a few coconuts together,
start the currency flow . . .
can I bum some courage?
I need a little cush,
daddy needs the darby.

Break loose one of them dead presidents
in your wallet, man.
I got dibs on your dirt,
a little folding green, okay?
Fews and twos?
A frogskin or two?
A fiver, yeah, a fiver.
You can float a fiver, can't you?
Five geets?

Grease me with your gravy, baby,
I need the green stamps,
a little of your green stuff,
I need some liquid assets,
a little mazuma,
some laydown.
Scratch me with your scrilla."

He looks into my eyes.
"No?"

Dead silence.
I make no sudden movements.

He waits.
Nothing happens.
Silence.

"Gotta cigarette?" he asks.

Tags: Revver, viral video, funny video, bum, beggar, hobo, tramp, bummer, buck, panhandler, poem, spoken word, reading, jargon, money, cash, begging, homeless, Jolie Blond, handout, James Jarvis