How To Get A Psyche Consult From Your Finance Teacher

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I live in a homeless veterans shelter. They make you do goofy things in a homeless shelter. One of them is to write a paper on your goals. I think this excercise in futility is just to get us bums focused on the idea of paying rent, which most of us haven't suffered in years.

My Money Management class homework was to write a few lines about my short and long term goals in life. As usual, I riffed:

Money Management

Mrs. Light GOALS

I am a 48 year-old man with counterculture goals. I also have goals that conform to the prevailing American culture of over-consumption and shallow materialism. This conflict between spirituality and consumerism has been with me for a long, long time and I am still struggling with it, so you may notice that some of the goals listed below may be in conflict with other life targets listed.

My overall overriding goal in life is to become a better human being through service to others. Everything else is really inconsequential, just window dressing. But in order to help others, I must first become a whole human being. That’s going to take a little more time.

In 1995, I began an intensive bible study that included the purchase of a Strong’s Concordance. I studied three to five hours every day for several years until I felt strong enough to practice my learning on human beings.

Family Goals

My long-term family goal is to reconnect with my estranged family, the family that I rejected and moved away from over thirty years ago. I rejected them because of their backwoods, provincial, drug culture ways. Now my mother is old, my sisters ravaged by years of drug abuse and my children lost, flummoxed and hypobulic. I need to reconnect with them and give them some leadership. It’s the right thing to do.

My short-term goals to pave the way for this reconnection is to finish repairs to the car I’m giving my mother so that she will have transportation to the grocery store and also so that I will have backup transportation for my visits there.

My mother lives in east Texas and I have blown up two automobiles out in the desert along the IH10 interstate highway trying to visit her. It’s an ugly hoopdee car I’ve bought for my mom and it’s still in Dallas, Texas until I can get it to my mom’s little pohunk town, but it sure would be nice to have a backup clunker in case I blow up my current car trying to get to her.

Also, I would like to finish the repairs on an RV I’m giving to my son, send some money to my daughter to ease her financial stresses during her current pregnancy, visit my grandchildren so they don’t call me “the lost grandpa” any more, visit my sisters and get treatment for my oldest sister.

The bridge between my short-term and long-term family goals is a job that allows a lot of time off. Perhaps teaching.

Health Goals

My long-term health goal is to live long. In the Christian bible, God promises long life to those who honor their father and mother. My father is deceased, so all I’m left with is honoring my mother. I would find that a lot easier if my mother wasn’t such an enabler to my two drug addict sisters. Still, I’ll do what I can.

My short-term health/physical goals include quiting cigarettes, losing weight, developing the habit of daily exercise, lowering my high blood pressure, increasing my lung capacity and lowering my obscenely high cholesterol.

Quiting cigarettes is not going to be easy. I’ve tried all sorts of things, from patches and pills to gums and hypnosis. I’ve already signed up for the VA’s Smoking Cessation class several times, but somehow it never materializes. The scheduler is probably out back having a smoke.

I have various strategies for the other health goals, including exercise and nutritional changes in my lifestyle.

Recreational Goals

My long-term recreational goal, strange as it might appear, is to complete one or two of the books I have started writing. The only time that I am truly at peace with myself is when I am using my innate precision processing skills to be creative, whether it be writing or creating digital art using Photoshop software. I have written 476 pages of a book whose working title is “Bring Me Your Love” and 213 pages of a book I’m calling “Trail of an Urban Nomad.”

My short-term recreational goals are to buy a more modern laptop with greater harddrive storage capacity, to continue writing creatively every day, to continue reading creatively every day, to create more digital art with Photoshop, finding a decent woman (or two) for companionship and to continue working to help The 72-Hour Men (a gaggle of Crenshaw homeless men I’ve adopted).

These short-term goals will keep me in the “inspirable” mode a writer needs to continue in his craft. Since I’ve been here at the vets’ dorm, I’ve written a few anecdotal things to keep in practice, things like “Doppleganger Curiosity, Irony Stalks Me Through The Streets, The Gelatinous-Blooded Veterans Association Needs Gas Money, Wearing The Yoke of the Oppressor, Ironweed Goes Dancing, My Daily Leakage, Autonomy Is A Four Letter Word, Truculence In The Slow Lane and Trying To Do Magic in the Land of The Unbelievers.” These little things keep me motivated.

Educational Goals

My long-term educational goal is to become so smart that anyone can understand me, to become so wise that I can understand where anyone else is coming from and to be able to communicate well on a spiritual level, too.

My short-term goals include completing my college units to get a BS or BA, catching up on all the new Macintosh system software, improving my Windows software skills and learning more about how to shop my writing and digital art.

The MMPI that I completed at St. Mary’s University suggests that my personality type would be most comfortable as a lawyer or journalist. I have already been a journalist and found the field to be rife with lies and immorality. Perhaps I should seek more education in a more honorable field, like lawyering.

Social Goals Turning Myself In For Homework

My long term social goal is to be able to deal with the current culture without being completely integrated into it. I want to be a leader in the church. “A” leader, not “THE” leader. I am not a megalomaniac. I want to be able to serve man without cooking him.

My short-term goals are to continue to assist The 72 Hour Men, to find my voice in the church and to positively influence humanity through my writing and art. Oops, I went long-term again.

Financial Goals

My long-term financial goal is to be completely independent and free of all usury. Otherwise, I’ll be an easy target for the mark of the beast when he rolls around soon. In order to accomplish this long-term goal, I’ll need a self-contained recreational vehicle with alternative power sources. I’ll need a “dingy” for the RV, lots of gold and silver coins and some property out in the desert.

To get that stuff, I’ll need a pretty good job and some serious mad money.

I got a psychiatric consult out of this homework.