It's a month now since I voluntarily checked myself in to the U.S. Vets homeless veterans shelter in Inglewood, California and I've complied with all of their requirements:I waived my constitutional rights to unlawful search and seizure of my person and property. Certificated 'social workers' can come in to the three-man dorm room they assigned me at any time and take whatever possessions of mine that the other two bums don't feel like stealing. Locks on doors or lockers are not allowed.
I waived my constitutional rights to an attorney or even a trial and have served their sentence of 40 hours community service in their chow hall for being found guilty in absentia of the crime of homelessness.
I have agreed that the federal government will pay them $29 a day to house me on a cramped little bunk bed for which I will pay them $50 a week rent out of my $108 a month V.A. disability check.
I have attended all their mandatory hygene, anger management, remedial arithmatic and tie-wearing classes for which their certificated 'social workers' receive an additional federal stipend.
Now I'm supposed to get a job in less than 90 days to pay off the back rent on the bunk bed or get the hell out, so I'm in the computer room every day with my free Yahoo account, trying to find an employer who doesn't hate veterans so I can claw my way up from a negative balance on my bunk bed rent to my goal of zero.
I'm supposed to be searching the CalJobs website for jobs right now, but my old nemesis Mr. Work Avoidance has raised his ugly visage and here I am, taking Emode's personality tests. Emode says:
As an Analytical type, you don't want to be limited by established rules and regulations. Your inquisitive nature demands that you sometimes question authority. Otherwise, you might not be able to find fresh approaches, or come up with new solutions to a problem. It's not that you act without weighing the pros and cons of a situation — it's more that you're more willing than others to take justifiable risks if they'll further your career success.
You're smart enough to know when you need help and are confident enough in your abilities to ask for it. You understand that sometimes there are no clear right and wrong answers, and that's just fine with you because you tolerate gray areas better than most. In fact, pondering potential outcomes can sometimes be more interesting than coming up with the definitive solution for you.
AAAAHHHAHAHAHA. Sounds like security guard material to me. All I hafta do now to fit in to this U.S. Vets homeless veterans shelter--- after getting the security guard job and paying off my back bunk bed rent--- would be to develop explosive bowel movements and anal leakage. Well, maybe just the bowel movements.
Actually, I'm a lot luckier than most of the homeless disabled U.S. military veterans here. I don't have as many minuses as them so my climb up to zero will be easier.
I've never been a drug addict or a drunk so I don't have to claw my way up to sobriety.
I've never had the state take away my driver's license for overdue alimony or child support payments (try to get a job in L.A. without a driver's license!).
I've never gone so raving mad that I knife-gutted a man in front of witnesses (although I did kill an asshole's Buick in broad daylight with my 9 mm).
I've never been in jail in California (except to bail other folks out).
Hell, in THIS place, comparatively speaking, I'm a freakin' saint. I'm almost a zero walking in the door. This place'll be a cakewalk.
Here's the latest U.S. Senate 'study' on how well my veterans homeless shelter, Westside, is doing.
And by the way. About those little yellow ribbons? Shove your little yellow ribbons.
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